Canibal Cop Case Closing (Sorry)

By BitcoDavid

McDonalds
(Photo: Sean MacEntee)

This case is so weird, I just had to write about it. Apparently, Gilberto Valle – a NYC cop – likes thinking about, writing about, talking about and even Web-surfing about eating Women – and not in that way, either. However, his attorney maintains that the closest he’s come to actually eating a woman, was a recent visit to McDonald’s. And since nobody really knows what’s in their food – we’re asked to give him a pass.

Mmmmm! Tastes like pork! Image: CantonFirst
Mmmmm! Tastes like pork! Image: CantonFirst

According to the NYT – that stalwart bastion of American journalism, the Gray Lady – while the prosecution is charging that Vale conspired to commit kidnapping, and illegally gained access to a law enforcement database, his defense rests on the fact that no woman was ever kidnapped, and it isn’t illegal to fantasize.

Vale’s attorney acknowledges that his fantasies were a bit (ahem) off beat, but that, in and of itself is no crime.

The case has involved numerous instances of Vale breaking into tears, and so many grotesque and macabre videos and other evidence, that the judge had to rule to stop having them shown.

Face it. Innocent or guilty, the guy’s clearly a broken toaster – a couple of tacos shy of a combination plate.

The 28 year-old cop has been under suspension from the force and the trial has lasted for 2 weeks, thus far. If found guilty, he could serve anywhere from 5 years to life. The attorneys made their closing arguments yesterday, and the case is in the hands of the jury, now.

English:
Welles in an iconic shot from Citizen Kane. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

But wait. It gets better. The defense attorney likened his case to the Orson Welles radio classic, War of the Worlds, and the prosecution dredged up the old fire in a movie theater homily about freedom of speech. The jury, after asking for a flip chart to organize their thoughts, went home undecided.

I’m sure however, that stately and staid standard bearer of the 4th estate will keep us posted on this story. They might however file their updates in the cooking section.

My gratitude to the New York Times for this article.

BitcoDavid is a blogger and a blog site consultant. In former lives, he was an audio engineer, a videographer, a teacher – even a cab driver. He is an avid health and fitness enthusiast and a Pro/Am boxer. He has spent years working with diet and exercise to combat obesity and obesity related illness.

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