Jack’s annual Independence Day Plea

100_0255By Supporter Contributor Jack

lorazepamhowto.com

A common drug user. That’s right. That’s what I’ve become, and it’s all your fault. See, I get afraid of some things. Especially fireworks. I hear them, but I don’t know what they are. I get all kinds of scared. I shake – I shiver – I try and hide under things that are too small for me. It’s tragic I tells ya. A proud Lab/Chow reduced to a quivering bowl of Jello. And not the good kind of Jello, either.

Now my dad – BitcoDavid – has long worked against the pharmaceutical industry. He says there are some good drugs that really help sick people, but he’s against using drugs that alter brain chemistry. Antidepressants, tranquilizers, anti-psychotics and phenothiazines.  He tells me he also doesn’t like Statins and imunosuppressants, but that’s something I don’t understand. See, he knows about this stuff. My area of expertise is bacon. I can give you chapter and verse on bacon.

What kind of self respecting Dog-author wouldn’t include a bacon pic? Mmmm, bacon…

Well, last year he took me to the smelly place where the White-Jacket-people live. There was all kinds of poking and prodding, and the White-Jacket-people shook their heads and looked at me like I was a schmoe. They rubbed their chins and gave me sad-eyes. Finally, they gave my dad a bottle of Lorazepam. Now, on the 3rd, 4th and even 5th of July, I’m bouncing off the walls and drooling in my kibble.

I got nothing against people going to their town’s designated area and watching a great show, put on by professional pyrotechnic engineers. But you guys gotta stop buying illegal fireworks in New Hampshire, and shooting them off in your back yard – maybe only a few hundred feet from my soft bed – at three in the morning.

It’s illegal, it’s a fire hazard, a safety hazard to you and your kids, and it scares the holy hell out of us, your furry besties.

I thank you for giving me this time, and trying to understand this issue from my point of view.

Sincerely,
Jack.

PS: David told me to tell you that he’s got some good articles in the pipe, and he hasn’t forsaken (good word, huh?) you. He’s working on writing a novel. Can you believe that? My dad the novelist. Kinda brings a tear to the eye, don’t it?

Jack Greenberg was born in 2009, someplace in Georgia. He was educated at PetSmart and received and honorary Milkbone from the trainer. He has written numerous Internet posts and has a page on Facebook.

 

2 thoughts on “Jack’s annual Independence Day Plea

  1. Jack, McKinley feels your pain. And I’m glad your dad finally gave in and got you some chemical help. I’m against local fireworks myself (as in people lighting them off in the street) because my daughter lost a sugar glider when the neighbors set off illegal fireworks. It literally scared the poor little thing to death. I hope you weather this very loud time of year. No 4th of July in Mexico!

    Like

Agree? Disagree? Please speak up.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s