By Supporter Contributor Jack
A common drug user. That’s right. That’s what I’ve become, and it’s all your fault. See, I get afraid of some things. Especially fireworks. I hear them, but I don’t know what they are. I get all kinds of scared. I shake – I shiver – I try and hide under things that are too small for me. It’s tragic I tells ya. A proud Lab/Chow reduced to a quivering bowl of Jello. And not the good kind of Jello, either.
Now my dad – BitcoDavid – has long worked against the pharmaceutical industry. He says there are some good drugs that really help sick people, but he’s against using drugs that alter brain chemistry. Antidepressants, tranquilizers, anti-psychotics and phenothiazines. He tells me he also doesn’t like Statins and imunosuppressants, but that’s something I don’t understand. See, he knows about this stuff. My area of expertise is bacon. I can give you chapter and verse on bacon.
Well, last year he took me to the smelly place where the White-Jacket-people live. There was all kinds of poking and prodding, and the White-Jacket-people shook their heads and looked at me like I was a schmoe. They rubbed their chins and gave me sad-eyes. Finally, they gave my dad a bottle of Lorazepam. Now, on the 3rd, 4th and even 5th of July, I’m bouncing off the walls and drooling in my kibble.
I got nothing against people going to their town’s designated area and watching a great show, put on by professional pyrotechnic engineers. But you guys gotta stop buying illegal fireworks in New Hampshire, and shooting them off in your back yard – maybe only a few hundred feet from my soft bed – at three in the morning.
It’s illegal, it’s a fire hazard, a safety hazard to you and your kids, and it scares the holy hell out of us, your furry besties.
I thank you for giving me this time, and trying to understand this issue from my point of view.
PS: David told me to tell you that he’s got some good articles in the pipe, and he hasn’t forsaken (good word, huh?) you. He’s working on writing a novel. Can you believe that? My dad the novelist. Kinda brings a tear to the eye, don’t it?
Jack Greenberg was born in 2009, someplace in Georgia. He was educated at PetSmart and received and honorary Milkbone from the trainer. He has written numerous Internet posts and has a page on Facebook.